I was right

My parents left me. For 10 days! That was a really long time, and it's a good thing that a nice person named Amy came by to visit me every day. I even let her rub my belly. That was awhile ago now, though, so I've almost forgotten about it. The next time I see all those big black bags come out of the closet again, I might have to pee on them so that mom and dad can't put their stuff in them and go away.

Dad's been making a lot of food lately, and I figured it would be nice of me to help him clean things up when I can. So the other day when he cooked some of his beef and barley stew, I did just that. I jumped up on the counter after everyone else was in bed, and I cleaned up the Tupperware that dad had left there with stew in it. Yummy!

Last night, dad made some turkey, cheese, and bacon meatloaf. OHHHH MY GOD it smelled so good in the house while it sat in the big hot box in the kitchen. Then I got to eat some! It was like heaven on a plate! For dessert, there was pumpkin bread pudding, which my parents thought I wouldn't eat. Fools! Of course I'll eat it. It was a little sweet, but that's okay in moderation--or so I hear.

Mom made some macaroni and cheese that had real promise because it has BACON in it! But there's also quite a bit of onion in it, which is one of a few things that I really don't care for, so I just kind of sniffed what she gave me and then left to go take a nap.

Overall holiday food excitement rating: B+

I have a feeling bad times are coming

My parents keep calling me things like "Fatboy," "Chubs," and "Tubbs." I'm not exactly sure why, but I think it has something to do with all the junk food they give me. What's worrisome is that they've started making references to how it's okay because I'll get skinny again soon. What? Why? Then today it made more sense and I got really freaked out when I ran into their sleeping room to see Manga. I saw that big black bag that they put things in right before they disappear for weeks or months at a time. Well... maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit, but that's how long it feels to me.

So after I saw that ugly black bag today, I started snuggling with mom and dad A LOT. Mom's been sitting on the couch with her laptop, and I lay across her wrist so that she really can't do anything except pet me with her other hand. Then I sit on dad's chest for a while, and then I repeat it all. Maybe if I am REEEEEAAAALY cute for the next few days, they'll realize that they can't survive without me and put that stupid black bag away.

At least mom fed me some macaroni and cheese today. I like cheese sauce and noodles!

TUNA!

My parents are getting ready for something called Hawaii. I'm not sure exactly what that means, but they've mentioned something about not eating as much sugar as usual. I hope that doesn't interfere with the food they give *me*.

The really good thing that happened today was that they made TUNA FISH SANDWICHES for lunch! Miji and I really love tuna. As soon as we hear the can opener, we RUN into the kitchen and wind around the legs of the person who's opening the can. Then they usually say something like, "Are you trying to kill me?" And I think to myself, "Of course not! If you died, who'd feed us tuna?"

Anyway.

So mom made tuna and gave me some. Miji got some, too. Then mom and dad sat on the couch to eat their sandwiches, and I stood on my hind legs and put my front paws on mom's knee next to her plate. She had to tell me to "get down" a couple of times before I really listened. I was too entranced by the tuna! It's not my fault! She finished and didn't even let me lick her plate, but maybe there wasn't anything on it. Then dad finished and put his plate on the floor for me to lick, but there wasn't any tuna--only cheese. Cheese! Like I care about cheese when the smell of tuna is in the air! So I was a little snob and turned my nose up at the cheese, which I would normally eat, but you understand why I didn't today, right? I hope so.

Tuna excitement rating: A++

Miji has a boyfriend

My sister Miji gets all worked up when she sees other cats outside. I think she's really jealous of them because about the only time she's ever been outside was when Manga pushed her out of the second floor window. Miji just has a sense of adventure. Anyway, earlier today while my mom was home for lunch (she fed me part of her turkey dog!!), one of those outside cats came up to our back screen door. Miji sat there and kind of growled at him, but I know she has a crush on him. She's just playing hard to get.

The best part is, his name is Muffin! My parents read the tag on his collar. So now I can really bother Miji by singing, "Miji and Muffin sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

Oh, and my parents ate fish tacos for dinner tonight and dad gave me some of the Mahi Mahi. It was yummy!

Mahi Mahi excitement rating: A

Denied!

My parents left the house around the time they should have been cooking something for dinner last night. They came home later smelling like pork chops. The nerve! How could they go somewhere else to eat and then have the audacity to come home smelling like it but without any leftovers for me?! That's crazy.

I might just have to throw up on the carpet to express my discontent.

Lean Cuisine Swedish Meatballs

My mom came home in the middle of the day like she usually does, and she immediately put something in that machine above the oven and pressed some buttons. As soon as the machine had made some noise for a few seconds, enough of the scent was coming from the food for me to know she was making my absolute favorite lunch! SWEDISH MEATBALLS! I danced around and shook my tail while it was cooking. Then while she was sitting on the couch eating, I was a good boy and stayed on the floor even though dad kept trying to get me to jump up and see him.

My patience paid off! I licked that plastic thingy clean! I really love the pasta, sauce, and meat pieces.

Swedish meatballs excitement grade: A+

Dad redeemed himself

Dad just gave me some black licorice for dessert. He thinks I'm extremely strange for eating licorice, but I don't know what the big deal is.

Black licorice excitement rating: B

Panda Express

My parents left today after mom got home from work, and I was sad. So I slept for a couple of hours. Then they came home! AND IT WAS AWESOME because they stopped at this place called Panda Express (which, by the way, doesn't make sense to me because they've never brought home anything resembling a panda bear) and got DINNER! I **LOVE LOVE LOVE** Panda Express! Dad ate ALL of his dinner and didn't give me even a little bite, but mom was nicer and gave me some peas, carrots, and egg from her fried rice. MMMmmmmmmm. I ate it all really quick and hoped against all odds that she also had some beef to give me, but she didn't. That's okay though. I love peas.

Panda Express excitement grade: A+

Silk Yogurt

Tonight my mom ate some Silk (soy) yogurt with marionberries for dessert. I got to lick the spoon when she was done.

Silk yogurt excitement grade: A-

My intro

Hi everyone. My name is Max (short for Maximus), and I'm a cat. Technically I'm an Abyssinian. See how pretty I am?

My parents think I'm weird because I like to eat people food. My mom thought it would be funny if I had a blog to tell everyone in the world about all the foods I like. So here I am. Stop by often to see what my latest culinary delight is!